Asking Questions

The first time I read the above statement, I felt grief and worry wash over me.  That was closer to the number of words my four year old had in his vocabulary, than the number of questions he asked.  In fact, he didn't ask any questions, even though we tried to teach him the sign language for what, where, why and how are you.  I mourned knowing not only what Kiddo was thinking about, but what he wondered about, what he wanted to know but had no way of communicating to me.  And I worried that even though he did only have 400-500 words, shouldn't some of those be questions?  I mean, I work with toddlers in the church nursery who are asking "What's dat?" a bazillion times, and I'm sure they have less than 400 words in their vocabularies.

I remember asking speech therapists about it, and they would tell me just keep modeling asking questions, especially "What's that?" and "Where's ___?" because those are generally the first questions a toddler learns to ask.  One even told me to not even attempt teaching "Why?" until after he had learned to ask at least four other questions, as that's what happened in typical development.  But no matter how much I modeled, how many times we would go through flash cards I made which included phrases like "What's that?" he never asked any questions.

Flash forward to today, Kiddo now asks three specific questions.  He probably only asks one or two questions a day.  Nowhere near the 437 number, but I'll take it.  We're making progress and that's what matters to me.

His very first question was "Why?"  The first time he asked it, was when he asked me if he could "pay Lego game?" (play Lego Movie video game).  I told him no.  Clear as a bell he said "Why?"  I answered without a thought, just told him because he always played the Lego game with Daddy, and maybe when Daddy got home from work he might play the Lego game with him.  It wasn't until after Kiddo went off to play something else that I realized he had asked a question.  And I immediately informed Hubster of it, I was so proud.  This has become his most frequent question, that I hear at least daily, especially when he's been told to do something or told to wait for something.

Kiddo has asked twice "What dis?"  Once regarding my curling iron, another time about a beaded doll from Africa at my parents' house.  He does tend to repeat words we use with a question mark on the end as if to ask "What's that?" and we'll explain it to him.  For example, we use the words 'shopping cart', but he overheard someone commenting about the kiddos sitting in the buggy, and Kiddo turned to me and said "Buggy?"

And he asks on occasion, "Where are you?"  Usually this is in relation to an item, moreso than a person.  For example, I'll ask him "Where is your cup?" and he'll go around the house, his hands around his mouth as he calls out "Cuuuuuup, wha ah you?"  But sometimes, I hear him calling for me.  "Mommy, wha ah you?"

I find all of these questions interesting, because I never worked with him on these questions specifically.  I know he's heard them, but they weren't the ones we modeled over and over, the ones we had written on flash cards for him to practice saying along with the words he was working on.  He still doesn't ask those questions.  It reminds me that he is developing at his pace and in his own way and it's ok.   I now have a better idea of the things he wonders about, and I'm so proud that he figured out how to ask the questions that matter to him on his own.

Progress Report

Little Brother:  Wow, time outs are doing wonders for this kid.  We've had lots of problems with disobedience, and though we tried several different discipline tactics nothing worked, until we discovered calling time outs "stuck" did the trick.  This kid does not like being stuck, in fact, "tuck" was one of his first words.  A minute or two "being stuck" for every act of disobedience/unkindness has made him much more compliant, and done wonders for my stress and frustration level, haha.  Now he follows directions much better, and is no longer hitting or biting poor Kiddo.  The throwing toys at Kiddo still happens, but is getting less frequent.

Not much to report when it comes to his speech, but wow, this kid is great at jumping. :)

Kiddo:  Hubster and I are amazed every day at the progress we see and hear.  Some of Kiddos words and phrases and SENTENCES, are getting longer, more complex, and clearer!  Other people are starting to be able to understand some of the things he says without me having to translate, who hoo!

Some of his newest phrases and funny things:

• Every night during bedtime prayers, I say "Thank you God for ____" and he fills in the blank.  He always starts it off by saying "Eesus!"  Sometimes he's thankful for Mommy and Daddy, sometimes brother, always his own name, and sometimes random things like books, eyes, church, etc.  This kid melts my heart with his prayers.
• He demanded "pee butta jeyee! (peanut butter and jelly sandwich) one day for lunch, and I kept telling him to wait, as I was busy doing something else.  After three times of this he comes up to me, holds up one hand, says "One pee butta" holds up the other hand "One jeyee!" and then claps his hands together.  Hubster and I just laughed.  Yes Kiddo, I know how to make a PB&J, but thanks for the reminder. ;)
• He plays hide n seek now!  He tells us who should count (usually he's the counter, occasionally I get the privilege of counting).  When it's his turn he covers his eyes, but peeks a tiny bit, counts to ten and then says "Readee naw!" and comes looking for us, and when he finds us, he tells us where we are, which has been great for teaching him prepositions, and just pure fun to interact with him in a new/social way.  If it's my turn to count, well I must admit, he's a terrible hider (hint: his favorite spot is face against the wall, in plain sight) and if I ask Little Brother "Where's Kiddo?" Kiddo'll jump out and say "Boo!"  Gotta teach him that just because he can't see us doesn't mean we can't see him, but we are thrilled at how quickly he caught on to the game and how often he requests to play "Dida Seech!"
• He is really into science.  He is fascinated by the whole digestion process (we hear "eat, tummy, poo poo!) a lot.  He loves dinosaurs, weather, space, etc.  The Magic School Bus has become his new favorite TV show, which reminds me of my own childhood.
• He calls Hubster's school (Hubster's currently going to grad school) Robot School, because one time Hubster said he goes to school to learn about robots and computers and Kiddo latched onto the robot idea.
• While in speech therapy, Ms. Blessing had him playing "Don't Spill the Beans".  For each word he said five times correctly, he got the bean.  Then Ms. Blessing decided to work on sounds, rather than words.  "Say pa!" she said.  "No pa, no pa!" Kiddo insisted, "No pa, bean!"  Yes Kiddo, you are right, it is not a pa, it is a bean.
• He is starting to say hi to other people when they say hi to him!  This is huge peeps.  He plays well with other kids, but has never really interacted with them verbally, but now he tells them hi. :)
• He tries so hard to bribe me to read "boo boch!" (two books) instead of just one before bed.  One time he pulled out a copy of "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" and pointed to the number two.  "Boo ish!  Boo boch!" he insisted.  Such a smarty pants.
• He's started tattling on Little Brother.  He'll come up to me while I'm in the kitchen or doing laundry, or whatever.  "Botha do doy!" (Brother throw toy!) etc.  Or, he'll take matters into his own hands and tell Little Brother what to do.  "Botha no dutch!" (no touch!) or "Botha no do doy!" 

As for gross motor, we're starting to make a little bit of progress on pedaling a bicycle, whoo hoo!  He needs a little push to get going, and then can pedal for about three or four cycles before he loses the momentum.  He can go the length of our driveway no problem since it's on a very slight incline, but can't pedal it back up.  Definitely needs more strength before he can do it, but I think he has the motor planning down for it, which is huge.  Steering, though, is a different beast.  Steering requires lots of motor planning, which his brain has no ability to process when it's working so hard on pedaling.  But I'm hopeful that he'll be strong enough to be riding his bike over the summer. :)

His core is definitely getting stronger, as evidenced by this photo.  I was doing laundry, and came out to find he had taken all the cushions off the couch and was hanging out like this.  "Mommy, cook!" (Mommy look!)  He held this position for at least 5 minutes. :)

Hopefully I'll have lots of other progress to report next month, when both kiddos get to spend two weeks visiting with their cousins!  I can't wait. :)

A Hard Day with a Sweet Finish

Today was rough.  Both kiddos were more disobedient and whinier than usual.  Kiddo was not cooperating when I tried to work with him on his lesson, so I gave up.  I was tired and my patience was wearing thin with them.  The clinic where we go to OT and speech called and said they need an updated referral, as ours expires soon.  So thinking it'd be a five minute phone call like it usually is to get a referral faxed over, I gave the doctor's office a call.  This call took a whopping 37 minutes, with me being put on hold several times and the kiddos interrupting other times.

And I was worrying about Little Brother, about how he keeps sloooowly adding new words to his vocabulary (he must have 200-300) but doesn't combine them in phrases.  He should be doing that by now.  The magic number of words a child usually has before he starts combining them is 50 and we're well past that.  For example he can say 'more', and he can see 'please', but he won't say them together, even if I tell him too.  So I worried again that maybe I'm to be a mama of two kiddos with apraxia.  Double the speech therapy appointments, double the bills, double the heartache and hard work.

I was frustrated and worried and overwhelmed, so Hubster suggested we go out for lunch.  It sounded great, so we piled in the car, had a great lunch, ran a few errands, and then on our way home I got pulled over for going 5 miles over the speed limit (luckily the officer just gave me a warning).  I was mad as I drove home, making sure I followed the speed limit exactly, since the officer happened to follow me pretty much all the way home.  Mad not so much at the officer or the warning, but at how things in my life were going.  So, when we got home I plopped the kids in front of the TV, grabbed a few chocolates and my Bible and determined to spend time with God.  Question where He was in all of this and what He wanted me to learn from all this, and why He wasn't answering my most desperate prayers for my sons and their healing and their words to come quickly and effortlessly.

Little Brother decided it was the perfect opportunity to snuggle me.  I can't turn down Little Brother snuggles.  And then Kiddo wanted to show me something he had found.  And then Little Brother wanted a snack.  And then Kiddo wanted a drink.  And then Little Brother threw a toy at Kiddo.

And I yelled at them. Fear filled their faces and I instantly regretted everything I said. I snuggled my boys, told them I loved them, then sent them to watch TV.  Finally they did, but I was no longer in a seeking God kind of mood, though I desperately needed Him.

I went on Facebook.  A place I know I should avoid, because I'll read about all the cute things my friends' kids are saying and videos of the milestones they're making effortlessly, and instantly feel sad, but I wanted to do something that would make me feel normal, that would distract me from my angry and sad thoughts.

After 5 minutes of reading articles and random things my friends are doing, I came across this blog post posted on the apraxia support group page:  "To the Mamas of the Special Ones on the Hard Days".  It was a refreshing read and made me feel so much better.  So, not alone.  I felt encouraged to take a few minutes to myself guilt free before spending time playing with the boys.

And then I did play with them.  And I heard Kiddo say a new word "Oos!" (oops!)  I heard it several times throughout the evening, and it made me smile every time.  That new word, that grin when Kiddo said it for the first time, well it made my heart release the frustration and soak in the victory.

And while we were playing outside, Kiddo pointed to the sky.  "Ook!" he said.  I didn't look.  "Oh, yeah, an airplane."  "No Mama.  Hecopper".   I stared at him in surprise.  I've never heard him say helicopter before.  Jeez, that's a hard word to say, but Kiddo was trying it on his own without practicing it over and over again like we oftentimes have to do.  He came up with his own motor plan for it.  Victory!

And then, Little Brother said his newest word too.  I was kissing him all over his face and he was giggling so hard he couldn't catch his breath, and then he gasped and said "Sop!"  "Did you just say stop?" I asked him.  "Yeah," he said.  "Sop!"  I grinned.  A new word, I'll take it.

Or when my children say any new word.  :)

And then, bedtime rolled around.  After Kiddo was all snuggled in bed and we had read his book before bed, we prayed together.  Sometimes I do the praying, sometimes I do it fill in the blank style.  I decided to fill-in-the-blank it.  Me: "Thank you God for ____."  He said his name in response.  "Me," I corrected.  "And thank you God for _____."  "Eesus!"

I choked back tears as I told him, "Yes, thank you God for Jesus."  I've never had any indication that Kiddo understands anything relating to God, Jesus, Bible stories, except for identifying "baby Eesus" at Christmas time.  I've never prayed before using the words "Thank you God for Jesus."  It was his own spontaneous thought and it filled my heart with hope and joy.

We finished our prayers and I kissed that precious little guy goodnight and as I left his room it hit me: God had answered my angry prayers through the mouth of my apraxic child.  How amazing, how incredible is that?  Though things may be rough, I am so thankful that God sent me His son Jesus, to give me strength for all I need to do, to give me peace when I'm feeling overwhelmed, and to forgive my anger and frustration.  And just as I ache inside that my children are not where I want them to be developmentally, oh how much more God's heart must have ached when His son was nailed to a cross He did not deserve.

Yes, thank you God for Jesus.